This article is by Christy Mercer Forbes and published by Team Jesus Magazine
My Page in the Book of Christian Singles
I have a little story to tell you. I don’t gossip about others, so you can take this as a lesson for the books. I believe everyone’s story can help someone gain life lessons without the hardships. The lessons I’ve learned as a divorcee after 10 years of marriage? Let’s just say…I could write a book.
I’m grateful to be a better person today after choosing to be led by the Spirit and not my emotions when it comes to relationships.
Why should we jump into the fire when we already know we’re going to get burned? Life is a marathon, not a sprint. So why do we rush our lives, making hasty decisions we may regret? Likewise, why do we as women think we need someone to complete us?
Reasons for Singleness
I have a girlfriend who’s known by our group of girlfriends as the one who never has trouble meeting guys. She’s the one who always has ‘somebody’. My friend is a sweet, good-looking woman who’s very confident, has a successful career, comes from a God-fearing family, and enjoys living life.
Our group is mixed with single, married, and divorced women. So, when we get together, we’re always sharing our relationship experiences to help each other ‘learn the lessons’ and prepare to settle down with Mr. Right.
So, why is my girlfriend still single?
It’s often believed that many single women are still single because 1) they’re waiting for Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet, or 2) they have a list of wants and expectations that are unrealistic for one man.
Sometimes, this list is so long that no man can ever satisfy everything we want or need. When my girlfriend meets a handsome man, she expects him to:
- Treat her with respect.
- Communicate regularly.
- Spend quality time with her.
- Be honest and sincere.
Now, these are all great expectations, but I wonder if she expects the same from herself. Let’s be fair here, right?
Our Formation vs. God’s Formation
If my girlfriend can wait for Mr. Right while focusing on what she brings to the table, instead of her perfect list, maybe he will show up in perfect time when she least expects it. She should trust that God knows everything she needs, including what’s best for her.
You see, each and every guy was just a distraction to keep her from focusing on God. She’d hear that still small voice in her ear, but wrestled with it daily and could not get in formation.
She was too entangled in her emotions and couldn’t see past fulfilling the lust of her flesh. She thought he actually cared for her and loved her. The heartbreak is experienced yet again, and this is when we, her close friends, have to say: “Tell him, ‘Boy Bye’”, like Beyonce. I love that!
Now, you may be wondering – how do I know all of this resonated with my friend?
Easy. Because that friend was ME!
Another lesson learned.
I was reminded that I needed to trust in the Lord with all of my heart and do not lean to my own understanding. In all of my ways, acknowledge Him, and He will direct my path.
I knew this, but I wasn’t walking in it and letting God lead me completely in everything, including a relationship.
Why Get in Formation, Ladies?
There’s power in formation.
You already know this, and now it’s time to be led by God from the bottom of your heart. You don’t have to try to figure out everything on your own. Listen to and follow God’s voice in everything you do, and everywhere you go. He’s the one who will keep you on track and lead that special someone to you.
So let patience have her perfect work, that you may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. Perfect – meaning whole and complete within yourself, being led by the Spirit and not your emotions. Then, you will be confident and know that no one can complete you, they can only complement who God has created you to be.
God has you.
And God has me…so I will just wait!
So, what’s the play call?
- Put God first!
- Get in formation AND get information.
- Stay in formation.
- Lose the EGO.
- Guard your heart.
- Embrace patience.